Parents ask 24-year-old daughter to pay for the family dog after she moves out: 'This most recent [bill] was $240 total'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 1, 2025 12:00 PM EST

When you're growing up, there's probably some point where you're going to start begging your parents to get a pet. These could have a varying number of levels of time and commitment involved, along with a degree of realism and feasibility. I think a lot of us had at least a short phase around the age of 7 years old where we thought it would be super great to have some super exotic pet like a monkey or tiger—oblivious to the risks and legalities involved.

Still, you might settle and end up asking your parents for a goldfish, which requires far less responsibility than a dog or a cat (or a chimpanzee), but the tradeoff is you'll soon find yourself underwhelmed with the companionship and intractability. You can't really cuddle a fish (even if it's a cuttlefish) so the excitement of your new companion quickly loses its luster.

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  • Whatever pet it is, your parents will probably end up taking care of it and having some responsibility over its wellbeing, and they know that. In a way, it will sort of really just be their pet that you pretend to have part ownership over. At some point they'll cave and end up getting a more “interactive” family pet, such as a dog or a cat, that they'll end up taking care of and paying the bills for.

    Besides, when you finally grow up and leave the home—to university or otherwise—you'll generally be in some sort of shared living situation and moving often, which is really not conducive for owning a pet. So, the "family" pet will remain with your parents, and remain for ever more there's with you being granted visitation rights as a reward for infrequent trips home to visit your parents and show them that you're still alive.

     

  • This young woman was surprised when she moved out and her parents began to ask her to contribute financially to the family dog that had remained with them after she left. 

    We've heard of parents who can be pretty strict with money and try to get their children to pay them as some sort of life lesson, but sheesh, this seems a little extreme. Of course, there may be some circumstances where this would be reasonable, such as if she had acquired the pet without her parent's permission or knowledge.

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    "AITA for refusing to pay for my family dog?"

    I, 25 F, and my sister, 23 F, live together in an apartment. Recently I got my dream job, working as a game developer. My sister, however- was mad and yelled at me, telling me to quit. My sister has always been jealous of me for my intelligence. In school, I was in all of the advanced courses and even took college classes over the summer during high school. I never studied, being smart just came naturally to me I guess. My sister,
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    I (24F) moved out of my family home over a year ago and this whole entire time I've been paying my share for our family dog (7M) which I see only when I visit them every now and then. While I love him, I have two siblings that still live at home and can afford to pay for routine shots, haircuts, etc. I have a lot of bills to pay as I live alone in a HCOL area and my sister (21F) is very controlling and doesn't let him visit me.
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    A few days ago she zelle requested $80 for routine vaccines, and I don't think I should pay for it. She has shamed me by calling me out to friends and claiming I'm a deadbeat. I set my foot down that I won't be paying the $80. AITA for saying no? EDIT: The bills include shots, haircuts, and heartguard. This most recent one was $240 total for the vaccines and the heartguard for a year. The dog is a Havanese, so he needs to get haircuts every 3 or so months as well, which comes out to about $80 ea
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ah le: Refusing to pay for my family dog, money and family related so I could be considered an a hole?
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    Dante2377 10h ago • NTA. I don't understand people saying ESH. When parents and their kids get a "family" pet, it's understood that it lives in the "family" house and technically belongs to the parents. Unless someone later in high schools begs for a pet and says they will take it when they move out, it's on the parents to take care of it. I've never heard of "family pet" meaning kids who move out need to pay for vet care, food, etc for the pet that lives with the parents.
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    Fickle_Toe1724 • 11h ago . If your sister is not letting you see the dog, she can pay the bills. Tell her that since you are not permitted free access to the dog, you will not be paying any of the bills. It is now her problem.
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    jasonmicron 10h ago I get the feeling you're leaving a LOT out of this post. Why does your sister think you owe money for a pet you don't own?
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    Kystamark 11h ago • You need to make it clear to them that you can't afford the dog anymore so the dog is now fully your siblings. Let them know that if they can't also afford it then re- home the dog. If you don't and still consider the dog yours then you have to be responsible for it. If you don't officially cut ties with the dog then you have to pay. Make a decision, inform them of it and stick to it.
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    BKRF1999 10h ago • Who got the dog? Was it your dog, did you bring it home, etc? Who brought the dog home and for who? Was it a parents gift to a particular child or was it just a family dog? If it's a family dog then your parents need to care for him.
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    No_Drama_531 • 10h ago This post doesn't make sense. Any pets we had growing up, my mom paid for. Once I moved out on my own, I got my own dog and paid for him myself since he was mine. Obviously. Family pets are paid for by the parents unless they can't afford it, then I could see the kids agreeing to band together to help pay for it, but there are options like low cost clinics and things in most states to help pay for shots when people can't afford it. And if the burden of a pet is that hard o
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    Azlazee1 10h ago You no longer live in the home with the dog. You are denied seeing the dog in your own home. This is no longer your dog nor should you be paying for your sister's pet. Tell her circumstances have changed as you no longer live there.
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    wlfwrtr 10h ago • NTA Tell her since the dog isn't allowed to visit you then it can no longer be considered yours, therefore the bills that are incurred for it's care aren't your responsibility. You shouldn't pay without seeing the bill anyway.
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    . Turbulent_Guest402 · 10h ago Who owns the dog? I suppose the parents if it's a « family dog >>. If the parents can't provide for the dog by themselves, why having a dog?
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    • CandylandCanada 10h ago ΝΤΑ You teach people how to treat you. Why do you care if she tells lies about you? She's been taking you for a ride for a year+; why would you allow that to continue?
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family drama dogs aita pets family feud parenting family daughter parents Father
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